My week without you

Ok so this blog post is a little premature as you’ve only been on holiday for two days.

This is a big thing for me Daisy. Mama cried all the way home from the airport. I sit drinking my coffee in the morning in complete silence. Now don’t get me wrong sometimes I wish for quiet but this is too quiet.

I know your having a wonderful time. We face timed just now and you were so excited to tell me you’d seen a snake whilst on your walk with Pop Pop. This is what I miss. Your infectious wonder of everything around you. You’ll randomly tell Rainbow mama and I about sloths whilst eating your dinner. Whilst I’d rather you concentrate on eating at that specific time, it’s your voice I miss the most.

This week I’ve been thinking about what my life was like before you. I can tell you I worked full time on a rehab ward with the NHS. I worked shifts, that’s about all I can remember. Not alot made me tick back then.  When I had you I totally immersed myself in being a mother. I’m not sure what else I’m good at, even if I do question myself most days.

In a few weeks I’ll re read this post when I’m having a rough day and remind myself how much I missed you x

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